Alzheimer's disease also commonly referred to as Old timers is a very difficult health condition to deal with. As time goes on, you will see the person you love slowly disappear, not physically but his mind and memory will gradually destroy the person that you always knew and transform him as a stranger. But the truth is that to him, you will be the stranger.

Following the diagnosis

Dealing with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease is not easy. That is why the physician responsible for the official diagnosis usually recommends the direct family to get some counseling. Also, he will give you a few options as well as suggest some resources that will provide you with some precious information. Do not hesitate to research each one of them. Get the help that you need not only medically but also legally, after all, Alzheimer is not only about health but also about rights.

Show that you care...get involved!

Often, you will find that some family members are having a hard time dealing with the diagnosis while others will even refuse it outright! Denial may seem easier for them to live with then accepting the sad reality but to be honest; this attitude is not helping the person affected by Alzheimer's disease. In fact, as it is impossible to judge when your parent, sibling or child may become unable to care for himself or take any decisions so why not get involved now and prepare in advance to ensure your loved one's future is well taken care. Showing your support is the best proof of love that you will ever give him.

How do I get involved?

Well, there are several ways to get involved and help out the person that suffers from Alzheimer. First, have a serious conversation concerning options for their care as well as their legal rights. Let him know that his wishes will be respected better if they are either written or shared with family members. Some decisions will be very emotionally difficult but they have to be done. Ask the following questions:

Do you want to be cared for at home or in a nursing home?

Do you wish to remain at home as long as possible or do you prefer to go to a nursing home as soon as he is unable to care for himself?

Who would you like to have power-of-attorney?

How should personal belongings and properties be dealt with?

What are the wishes of this person concerning health issues such as resuscitation or not, type of funeral, burial site, buried in a coffin or cremated?

I know that some of these options seem harsh or even cruel but why not give your loved one the opportunity to make as many decisions as possible concerning both their life and their possessions. As soon as these questions are answered, take the necessary steps to put them into place. Legally, have your relative prepare their future by having the paperwork done for their will and the power of attorney. This way, their decisions will be respected as desired instead of how their family going along with their own thoughts and personal beliefs.

Ready or not...always be prepared to fight for the rights of your loved one!

My mother-in-law suffered from Alzheimer's disease for 15 years. My husband had the power-of-attorney as his older brother denied her condition for years then considered her dead to him as a mother over the last few years.

In sickness and in health

Twice, prior to her death, she was hospitalized. The first time, she spent ten days in the hospital as she was diagnosed with a bladder infection. They never even took a blood sample to investigate for further health problems. She had no physician to care for her as the one who diagnosed her retired years ago. The doctor that was responsible for her care during her stay in the hospital refused to take her as a patient because patients with Alzheimer's disease are so difficult to treat.

Three months later, I called her new doctor that even did house calls. At first, without examining her closely, prescribed her some medication for another bladder infection which was, according to him, responsible for the fever that affected her over the last two days. Not seeing any improvement in her fever and now hearing her scream about 20 hours a day without any exaggeration, my husband and I called him again.

The first sign of a fight

When I asked him if I should accompany her to the Emergency Room, he replied that I could not always go there for each little thing. The next day, I defied his comment and brought her in. By the end of the day, she was hospitalized. It took them three and a half week to investigate and find out the real problem. Every day, my husband and occasionally his brother visited her but being pregnant with a baby at home, I was unable to do so.

Fighting a bad sense of humor

I called the hospital every day to enquire about her health as nurses were rude to my husband, refusing to fill him in about his own mother's health. She was there for three weeks when they discovered that she had cancer which was suggested as a "joke" by the doctor on duty at the ER when discussing the results of her blood test.

The right to fight for the life of your loved one

Then, they suggested not to "waste" money and resources to treat her cancer as she had Alzheimer's disease that it was more useful to use them on people that were not affected by this condition. To top it off, they categorically refused to resuscitate her if need be because of her Alzheimer. My husband and I had to fight them tooth and nail for her rights as a human being and I even had to remind the doctor of his oath, saying that he was supposed to do everything in his power to save lives not to let them slip away. As finally he changed his mind allowing us to have her receive the needed treatments, she sadly passed away three days later.

In this situation, unfortunately we were unable to prolong her life and give her the opportunity to meet her grand-daughter. I also am aware that not all doctors and nurses act and react this way but for the ones that do, you have to fight tooth and nail to ensure that the rights of your loved one are well respected at all times!